


ballad of a falling man

by kimannhart



Series: winteriron bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bucky can play guitar and sing, First Kiss, M/M, Music, Not Beta Read, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam and Sharon and Steve are little shits but they mean well, Sharon Carter Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, We Die Like Men, brief mention of bucky having ptsd and going to therapy, everyone is near the same age bc they went to hs together and bc i said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 03:58:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19124116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimannhart/pseuds/kimannhart
Summary: God, Bucky hoped that Sam, Sharon, and Steve weren’t fucking with him when they said Tony felt the same way. Because if they were, then Bucky could only think of three things: One) he was going to remember this moment as one of the most embarrassing things he’s ever done; Two) it’s going to suck when Tony rejects him; and Three) he was going to kill the trio for telling him lies.





	ballad of a falling man

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic came from one of my fave comics I've been reading lately, _Ice Cream Man_ , Issue #5. 
> 
> This is a fill for Bucky Barnes Bingo, Square K3: Guitar.  
> This is also a fill for Winteriron Bingo, Square I4: First Kiss.
> 
> Also, this isn't beta read so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy.

Bucky let out a huff as he scratched out the last line he wrote in his journal.

“You doing okay there bud?” Steve asked as he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. An amused look plastered on his face.

Bucky jumped at the sound of Steve’s voice and frantically goes to hide his journal underneath his pillow, and tossing the pen to the floor. “Jesus, Stevie.”

Steve chuckled, “What, didn’t notice me standing here for like the past five minutes?” He moved towards the bed, eyeing the pillow that Bucky hid his journal.

Bucky’s eyes glanced quickly to the pillow. The two looked at each other before jumping towards the pillow. Even though, Bucky was closer, Steve somehow managed to get his hands on Bucky’s journal first.

“No! Give it back!” Bucky yelled as he tried to get it back.

“Why? What’s so important in this thing? Is this your dirty little black book?” Steve teased as opened up to a random page with one hand, the other being used to block Bucky. “Are these _songs_? Since when do you write songs?” Steve thumbed through more pages.

Giving up the fight, Bucky sighed. “After I started going to therapy,” he admitted as he brushed his fingers in his hair. It’s been about two years since Bucky returned home from war—he was honorably discharged after losing his arm to an IED exploding. “Dr. Akopian thought it would be good for me to have a hobby. So I decided to give guitar playing and songwriting a try. Turns out I really like doing them, it’s a good way for me to express my thoughts and emotions in a healthy way.”

“Oh,” Steve replied softly. He closed Bucky’s journal, feeling bad that he invaded his privacy. “Sorry, for looking through it. Sometimes I forget that we’re not the same two guys from back then.” Steve handed the journal back.

“It’s not okay you looked through it without my permission, but I accept your apology.” Bucky clutched the journal. “This is my probably the most personal and important thing that I own.”

Steve bit the bottom of his lip, a question at the tip of his tongue.

Bucky stared at Steve and slightly groaned, “Ugh, what Stevie? I know you want to ask something, so just ask it.”

“I couldn’t help but notice that a good chunk of the songs were love related. So, I can’t help but wonder… do you have a crush on someone? Hmmm?”

A blush started to creep onto Bucky’s cheeks. “Pfft, no. Crush? Nah, not me. And definitely not love. Nope, no siree.”

Steve gasped as his eyes widen when he caught the blush on Bucky. “Oh my God, you do! Who?”

Bucky raised his metal hand, the one Tony had made and given to him as a gift, to the back of his neck and scratched nervously. “Omy,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry what was that?” A teasing smile on Steve’s face.

“God, really? I know you heard me.”

“Nope, don’t think I did,” Steve grinned.

“Ugh, you are the worst. Tony, there you happy? I have a crush on Tony! Hell, I think I might even love him.”

“Oh, are you finally admitting it?” Sam’s voice cut through as he and Sharon walked into Bucky’s room.

“Can a guy get _any_ privacy in this place?” Buck asked exasperated.

“Hey, don’t go blaming us. You were the one who left their door wide open,” Steve commented as he gave Sam and Sharon a quick peck on the lips.

“Okay, back to the matter at hand here. You,” Sharon pointed to Bucky, “finally admitted that you have feelings for Tony?”

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘finally admitted’?”

Steve winced, “Bucky, I hate to break it to ya, but everyone pretty much knows that you have feelings for Tony.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Bucky. The heart eyes you make at Tony whenever you look at him are obvious. The only one who doesn’t is Tony, and that’s because my dumb cousin is oblivious as hell,” Sharon replied as she plopped down on Bucky’s bed, dragging Sam down to sit next to her. She pointed to the black journal in Bucky’s hands, “What’s that?”

Bucky contemplated for a moment before handing the journal over to Sharon. “You can look at them too, Sam.” He let out a small sigh before getting the courage to explain what the journal held. “They’re my songs.” He felt nervous, letting someone else look over his songs. But he knew that Sharon wouldn’t tease him about them—and Sam too by extension, but that’s only because Sharon was here and would probably pull on his ear for being mean.

“Bucky,” Sharon started to say as her eyes looked through the pages, “these are really beautiful. Are these about Tony?”

“I, um, yeah. Am I really that obvious?”

“No,” Sam reassured. “It’s just that we know the both of you really well so it’s easy to connect the dots. Plus, we’ve watched the two of you idiots mutually pin over each other for like years now.”

“Tony has feelings for me?” Bucky asked, surprised. In the months that Bucky had pinned over Tony, Bucky thought that Tony would never feel the same. So, he never acted on his feelings, never letting them be known to the other man.

The trio nodded at Bucky.

“For how long?”

“Probably the same amount of time that you have feelings for him,” Sam shrugged. “I mean you guys have pulling the ‘will-they-won’t-they’ shit since before you were deployed.”

“What? No, we didn’t.”

“Uh, yeah you guys did,” Sharon rebutted. “It was so ridiculous that Thor, Bruce, and Clint started a pool on if you guys would actually do something. Obviously you didn’t, so Rhodey and Natasha won all the money and used it on a fancy date with each other.”

“Oh… That’s wow,” Bucky breathed out. “But also, betting on our love lives, really?”

“Don’t give us that look, you know damn well you would’ve done the same thing if you were in our position,” Sam said as he reached a hand out to Steve to interlock their fingers.

“Okay, yeah you’re right. I would do the same thing,” Bucky admitted. “But can we go back to Tony having feelings for me part? Does he really?”

The trio nodded at Bucky once more.

Bucky could feel the hope slowly start to rise in his chest. “Should I…” Bucky trailed off, his mind trying to figure out if he should finally admit his feelings to Tony.

“Should you finally tell Tony that you have feelings for him?” Steve asked. “Because if that’s what you were thinking, then please do. I’m tired of seeing my two best friends acting like dumb lovesick idiots.”

Sam snapped his fingers and pointed to Bucky. “You know what you should do? Sing him one of your songs!”

“Oooh, yeah! That’s a great idea, babe!” Sharon agreed.

“Sing him a song?” Steve asked, skeptically. “I don’t know, isn’t that a bit cheesy?”

“Yeah, probably. But knowing Tony for as long as I have, he’d love it. He’s such a hopeless romantic. So seeing Bucky serenade him a song that Bucky wrote for him personally? Tony would eat that shit up so fast.” Sharon replied. “Are you gonna do it Bucky?”

“I dunno,” Bucky hesitated. “Are you sure that Tony actually feels the same way?”

“Oh my God, dude yes. Tony likes you, and you like Tony. Feelings are reciprocated. It’s pretty simple.” Sam said. He sighed when Bucky still looked hesitant. “Okay, look. I know that admitting feelings for someone is scary as hell. But I promise you, Tony feels the same way.”

Bucky thought it over for a few more moments before coming to a decision. “Okay.” He nodded his head. “Okay, yeah. I’m gonna tell him how I feel, and I’m gonna sing him a song.”

* * *

It was finally the night. Bucky was going to sing Tony a song he wrote. The nerves had been coursing through him throughout the whole day. There was a brief moment where he wanted to back out and call the whole thing off, but Sharon, Steve, and Sam had to reassure him that he was fine and that everything was going to turn out great. And as much as he wanted his trio of best friends to leave their place for the night, Bucky also wanted them to be there just in case it didn’t turn out well as they promised. So, he shooed the three of them away to their room, making them promise that they wouldn’t come out when Tony came.

Bucky had invited Tony over under the pretense that they were going to have a movie night—something that the two of them have been doing with one another for months now—and sure enough Tony had agreed to come over.

The doorbell rang, and Bucky let out a breath. “Okay, you can do this, Bucky.” He opened the door and greeted Tony with a smile, “Tony, hey!” Bucky moved aside from the door to let him in.

“Heya, Bucky,” Tony greeted as he gave him a hug. “So, what movie are we watching?”

“There is no movie.”

“What do you mean there’s no movie?” Tony asked slowly.

“I just said that to get you to come over.”

“Why? You know you could’ve just asked to come over and I would have.”

“Oh, I… I didn’t think about that.”

“Clearly,” Tony snorted. He sat down on the couch. “So, what’s the real reason you wanted me to come over?”

“I was, I was just you know, wondering if maybe I could sing you a song?”

Tony’s eyebrows furrowed. “Sing me a song?”

“Yeah, I wanna sing you a song.”

Bucky wished he had pulled out his phone to capture the soft look that encapsulated Tony’s face, but figured that would have ruined the moment.

“I… Okay,” Tony replied softly.

Bucky gave him smile and held up his pointer finger. “Just, wait right here. I’ll be back in one sec.” He returned quickly, acoustic guitar now in his hand. Bucky settled onto the couch cushion next to Tony and get himself ready to play. “Before I start, I just want you to know that I wrote this for you.” His fingers quickly sliding up and down the neck of the strings.

 _“There’s no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard_ ”

The nerves that Bucky had been feeling all day, had vanished as he slowly lost himself into the music.

_“No song that I could sing but I could try for your heart”_

Bucky focused his gaze back onto Tony, his heart beating faster when he saw the realization on his face.

_“Our dreams and they are made out of real things like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving”_

God, Bucky hoped that Sam, Sharon, and Steve weren’t fucking with him when they said Tony felt the same way. Because if they were, then Bucky could only think of three things: One) he was going to remember this moment as one of the most embarrassing things he’s ever done; Two) it’s going to suck when Tony rejects him; and Three) he was going to kill the trio for telling him lies.

_“Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart, like why are we? And where do we go? And how come it’s so hard?”_

With the tears that had started to accumulate in Tony’s eyes, though, Bucky was beginning to believe that they actually were telling him the truth.

_“It’s not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s always better when we’re together.”_

“Oh, Bucky,” Tony breathed out as a tear fell down his face. As much as Bucky wanted to reach out to wipe the tear away, he had to finish playing his song.

_“Mmm, it’s always better when we’re together. Yeah, we’ll look up at the stars when we’re together. Well, it’s always better when we’re together. Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together.”_

At this moment, Bucky was beginning to regret not recording this precious moment between them. But he hoped that his brain and Tony’s would be able to remember it forever.

_“And all of these moments just might find their way into my dream tonight. But I know that they’ll be gone when the morning light sings, or brings new things. For tomorrow night you see that they’ll be gone too.”_

As much as Bucky didn’t want to admit it aloud, he’s been daydreaming about spending the rest of his life with Tony. He’s done it so often, that his daydreams had begun to transfer to his dreams when he sleeps. His minding providing him with wholesome and domestic images of the two of them. Like waking Tony up to breakfast in bed. Or adopting a couple of kids with Tony.

_“Too many things I have to do, but if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene, I’d be under the impression I was somewhere in between. With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do, or places we got to be. We’ll sit beneath the mango tree now.”_

Before Bucky wrote this song, he’d be dealing with a lot: the PTSD he suffered—and currently continues to suffer from—that he got from the war, having to readjust to being down an arm until Tony was able to make a robotic prosthetic for him, having to get used to the new arm once Tony gave it to him, and then he finally started to go to therapy once Steve told him it wasn’t healthy for him to try and compartmentalize what had happened to him by himself.

Overall, it was just a lot. And Bucky had to focus on getting himself better before even attempting to dive into the feelings that he had for Tony that he was finally beginning to acknowledge.

_“Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together. Mmm, we’re somewhere in between together. Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together.”_

Tony hadn’t said anything since he started to cry, but judging by the smile he was giving him, Bucky hoped that Tony actually liked the song.

_“I believe in memories, they look so… so pretty when I sleep. And I wa… And when I wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me”_

In the amount of movie nights that Bucky and Tony had together, there were many nights in which Tony had ended up falling asleep cuddled up next to Bucky. And during those times when Bucky would wake before Tony, he would stare down at Tony’s sleeping face for a few quick seconds before drifting back to sleep and just appreciate just how soft and adorable Tony looked.

_“But there is, not enough time. And there is no… no song I could sing. And there is no  combination of words I could say, but I will still tell you one thing, we’re better together.”_

Bucky strummed the last few chords of the song before focusing his attention fully on Tony.

“Oh, Bucky. That was beautiful,” Tony replied as Bucky moved closer to wipe the remaining tears off of his face.

“Was it, really?”

Tony nodded. “It really was. I kinda wished I recorded this.”

“Don’t worry, I did,” A voice from behind them interjected. “Hi, Tony.” Sharon waved. “Great job, by the way Bucky. It was very Hallmark-esque.”

“I should’ve done this in my room,” Bucky muttered to himself.

“Hi, Sharon,” Tony replied with a sheepish look, hiding his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck.

“Are you guys gonna kiss or what? Because as cute as this is, I want some action!” Sam yelled out as he popped his head out above Sharon’s.

“Yeah, what Sam said,” Steve agreed, but still hiding himself away from their view.

Bucky turned around to face them, giving them all a _what-the-fuck?-Go-away-you-punks_ look. He was about to shoo them away, when Tony gently moved Bucky’s face from the trio to look at him.

“Can I kiss you?” Tony asked softly.

“I, um. Yeah,” Bucky grinned. “I would love that.”

They tilted their heads, and brushed their lips together. It wasn’t the best kiss, with Bucky’s chapped lips and also considering that they had an audience, but it was sweet.

The two of them pulled away when the hollering of Sam, Sharon, and Steve started. Blushes appearing on both of their faces as they rested their foreheads against each other.

“Hey, Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go out on a date with me?”

Tony beamed, “I would love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> All the lyrics came from Jack Johnson's song, "Better Together." 
> 
> Come yell at me about this fic, or any of my other fics, at my [tumblr](https://kimannhart.tumblr.com/)


End file.
